Family Counseling
by Sotsumi
Summary: The Creed-Wagner family has started a family counseling program. What randomness will occur?
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Sadly, i own no part of x-men evolution

Dr. Johansen sat down in front of his next group of patients, there for family counseling. Seated in front of him was most likely the strangest gathering he had ever seen... well, except for maybe the "Why Can't We Just Be Friends" Drag Queen/Clown Convention... Oh, well, he was getting well paid for his time.

"You are the..." he paused to consilt his clipboard "Creed family?"

"My last name is Wagner." Kurt quickly corrected.

"All right the Creed/Wagner Family?"

"But none of the rest of us have the last name Wagner!" Mystique pointed out

"Yes, you are, Muzzer. You married Eric Wagner."

"He drove me out of town!"

"So? You still married him, and you never divorced him, so you're still a Wagner."

"But I don't want to be a Wagner!"

"Zat doesn't matter."

"fine..."she admitted in defeat "I'm still a Wagner..."

"Well, ah'm not a Wagner..." Rogue stated rebelliously.

"Actually, Rogue...you are, if my muzzer is a Wagner, and she adopted you..."

"Ah refuse to be called a Wagner." Rogue said, crossing her arms.

"But, you can't just say zat you refuse to..."

"Ah can and ah will, demon-boy, so shut it."

"Vhatever..."

Dr. Johansen cleared his throat. "Are we ready to get started?" Everyone just stared at him. "ok..." he noticed one person had distanced himself from the rest of the group. "Graydon, why do you distance yourself from the rest of your family?" He asked the loner

"Ohh...maybe because their power hungry freaks preying on humankind!!"

"Why do you say that, Grayd-"

"Oh, ah wouldn't listen ta him, **_Gaydon_**'s just mad 'cause he's a reject." "What?"

"He's the only human in a family of powerful mutants, he's a reject."

"Well, at least I'm not a mutant freak!"

"Loser!"

"Freak!"

"Misfit!"

"Mutie Bit-" At the beginning of this remark, Rogue stuffed her fingers into her ears, and cried

"I'm not listening! I can't hear you!"

Mystique was getting frustrated. "You know this is all your fault, right?" She asked, looking at Sabretooth.

"What?" he roared in response "my fault?! You're the one who brought the booze!"

"but im not the one who fathered a worthless son!"

"YOU had him!"

"but hes got YOUR genes...i couldn't do anything about it!"

"Whatever... "

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Please review & tell me how ya like this chapter! Thanks! If i get good reviews ill continue with it. Hope ya liked it!


	2. Logan's Here! YAY!

Sorry! This Chap.'s really short, but, oh well.

Disclaimer: didn't you read the first chapter?

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Dr. Johansen finally got everyone calmed down. It was no easy task...

Sabretooth was threatening everyone nearby under his breath, and only succeeding in becoming extremely annoying.

"ok, now that we've gotten the name issue out of the way..." the doctor started, just before the door swung open dramatically, revealing a scary shadowy figure, short, yes, but scary all the same.

"All right, let's get this over with fast." The person said, stepping into the room and revealing himself to be :: gasp:: LOGAN!

"What'r you doin' here, runt?" Sabretooth growled.

"I dont wana be here, either, Creed, but Charlie says since I'm part o' this family, I gotta come."

"YOU actually believed him when he said he was your fath-" Mystique started to laugh, but Sabretooth clapped a hand over her mouth.

"I'm only here cause your professor threatened to make me sing and tap dance in public if I didn't..."Sabretooth explained.

"I just wanted to see my daughter." Mystique added.

Rogue looked thoughtful and surprised. "Wow, Logan ah didn't know ah was related to ya!"

"You ain't, kid"

"Yes ah am! Ah'm yer half-brother's half sister bah adoption..."

"I like ya, kid, but I ain't related ta no one."

"Doesn't zat mean zat you are-" Kurt began. A fierce glare from Logan cut him off. "Nevermind"


	3. Logan's Unhappy Birthdays

GambitFreak: thanks, hope you like this chapter.

xfan2003-thanks for the encouragement, it really was...encouraging.

Pyro Lady-after this family counseling story, im not gonna need another one, everyone will show up eventually.

THANKS TO ALL MY REVIEWERS!!!! Hope you all like this chappie.

Please read & review

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Disclaimer: I don't own X-men Evolution, but if I did, I would get rid of Jott, kill Jean, and THIS TIME, she would STAY DEAD.

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Dr. Johansen stopped Logan before a fight broke out.

"So-Logan, is it?- why don't you want to be here? It seems to me you have some issues with your father."

Rogue snorted. "Really? What on earth gave ya that ahdea?" Mystique teared up. Her little Rogue had grown up to be so threatening and sarcastic, it made a mother proud. Everyone else ignored her, and instead listened to Logan's answer.

"Uh, yeah, what kind've a dad tries ta kill his kid every year on his birthday, huh,bub?"

"The kind who's a mutie mistake." Graydon piped up.

"Did I ask you, Creed?" Logan growled, extending his claws threateningly.

"No, but im more important than all you muties anyway, cause I'm normal and I don't have freakish powers that could kill someone in the blink of an-..." Graydon noticed the way his _Homo superior_ relatives were looking at him, and realized how stupid it would be to finish that sentence and stopped short.

"That's what ah thought." Rogue quipped.

"Victor, is it true that you try to kill Logan every year on his Birthday?" Rogue giggled and pointed at Sabertooth.

"hehe, your name is Victor?! Hehehehehe!!!!-" She also noticed the strange looks she was receiving from her family and decided it would be better to jut stop, "um yeah." Sabretooth stopped staring at Rogue and answered the question..

"Well, yeah."

"Why?"

"'Cause the little runt's annoying" Logan burst into tears.

"Ya see why I don't like him? He HATES me! I mean, all I ever wanted was a dad who loved me, and maybe came and celebrated my birthday with me, but NO! MY dad tries ta kill me on my BIRTHDAY!!" He buried his face in his hands and broke down into hysterical sobs. Sabertooth looked shocked.

"Really, Logan?"

"No." Logan yelled as he leapt out of his chair and tackled Sabertooth, claws extended. The two rolled around on the floor, in a bundle of punches and kicks, their skills too evenly matched to have a decisive victor-er-winner.

"You see why I never told you you were related to them?" Mystique asked Rogue and Kurt. They both nodded. Graydon sat-still by himself- in the corner.

"Dear God,

I know I don't pray much, but please, please,

PLEASE let them kill each other!

Amen."

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